Nap time logic:
How much cleaning can I do in two hours?
How much cleaning can I do in one hour and 45 minutes so that I can read a few more pages of that magazine I bought in February?
Picking out clothes:
Will this print help hide the 40lbs I gained during pregnancy and haven’t lost yet? (sad, but true)
Does it really matter since it will probably get spit up on two seconds after I get dressed?
If we leave right after he wakes up and eats and I need to go to these two stores, and it takes 10 mins to get to the first store, 15mins to get to the second store then 30 mins to get back home, that leaves 16 mins in each store before our next nap…
Wait- can I get two weeks of groceries in 16 minutes?
Strangers in Target:
Oh no! That lady that just blew her nose in aisle 12 is giving the stroller “the look”* !!!
*“the look” - when you know that someone is about to walk up to you, dispense their top 10 best bits of parenting advice, and then reach over and touch your baby. I’m sorry but these people are my least favorite ever. It is not ok for you to touch my kid, stranger. Just isn’t.